


Hands that Save

by younoknowme93



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Porn, Bittersweet, Bottom Snape, M/M, Nipples, Sad Ending, Severus Snape/Rubeus Hagrid - Freeform, Smut, Snagrid - Freeform, smut but no sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 15:07:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/younoknowme93/pseuds/younoknowme93
Summary: Hagrid finds Severus face down in the snow hurt so he brings him back to his hut to patch him up.





	Hands that Save

**Author's Note:**

> Okay ducklings... this one might be a bit sad.... so... there's your warning. Also. There isn't enough Snagrid. They are super cute together and I really like the pairing. No... it's not necessarily my favorite pairing, but I still like it... SO I try to contribute where I can. Those that read my stories know that I exclusively write Severus as a 'catcher'. I clearly am not afraid to write for a pairing or topic that is not very popular. So every so often I challenge myself to write things that aren't my favorite. I don't mind writing angst, but... i usually like a happy ending. I always feel like if I put in all this effort and put my readers though all this angst they and I deserve something happy. But. I also believe that a tragic sad ending can be beautiful in it's own way. So. I have warned you. Feel free to read this prepared for whatever curve I throw you. I'm still working on first of many rewrite because I didn't like how the chapter was going, I decided to change it and can't tell you when it'll be posted, but believe me... I've not dropped it.  
> Anyways... enough talking. Onward my ducklings.

I’ve never been much for leaving an injured animal to lick it’s own wounds.  That’s likely why I get bumps and cuts.  Most wild animals don’t willingly accept help.  Even if they’re really needing it.  I wouldn’t really call me stupid for it, just always been this way.  I know if I’m not careful, it could be the end of me.  Doesn’t stop me though.  I can’t help but save the wee critters.

It don’t even really matter what sort of animal it is.  If it’s injured, I can’t just leave.  So, when I see a particularly vicious one face down in the snow, I got to help.  I can’t stop myself.

“Professor.”  He doesn’t respond, but I can see that he’s breathing at least.  His hair stains the snow like spilled ink.  Fair skin nearly blends in to the white.  His long oppressing robes are gone and leave marred pale skin in it’s place.  His body is exposed and he’s naked from the waist up.  It’s late.  The temperature is dropping.  His fingertips are already tinted blue, and are still half submerged in the snow as if he were clawing his limp body to the castle.  “Professor Snape.”  I roll him onto his back.  The snow-covered ground under him is pink.  It’s easy to lift the long man, it’s only at this moment that his eyes blink open.  “I’ll be taking you to the infirmary now.  No need to fight me.”

“No.  I’ll be fine resting in my room.  Put me down.  I do not need your help.”  Resistant to any help.  Just as he’s always been.  This man was once a boy going to class here and he was just as isolated.  Lonely more like.  He’s never asked for help.  He’d never take it.

“Sir, your chest is cut and your fingertips are about frost bitten.”  As subtlety as I can, I press him against my chest.  Anything to warm him even a tad.  Instincts take over, and he curls into my body heat.

“I do not need medical attention.”  His eyes are closed and I’m afraid that he will fall back asleep.  “I will be fine with some rest.  I refuse to go to the medical wing.”  He’s an obstinate type. 

“Sir, you are bleeding pretty bad, you need to have them treated, and you are in no state to tend to yourself.”  His breathing is steady, and he looks almost content.

“Then take care them.  You know how, right?”  I do, one doesn’t tread around dangerous animals without at least some first aid knowledge, and I can likely bandage him up fine enough.  Getting him out of the cold is the most important part.  I wrap him inside of my layers.  He’s like ice.

He takes the heat willingly enough all while not being thankful for it.  Yes.  Severus Snape is an injured animal.  Small at times, but he knows how to puff out his chest and make himself seem big.  He isn’t though.  I’ve spent enough time around animals to know when one is scared.  He’s scared.  Every day he uses that fierceness in his eyes to hide the fear, but I see it.  And I can’t just leave an animal injured.

I take him to my hut and start the slow process of dressing the hurt spots.  He lays mostly still and mostly unconscious.  It’s warming to touch someone else so gently, and he’s not in the least bit hesitant.  He’s not concerned.  His fire isn’t burning.  But mine is and I’m almost ashamed of it. 

My father always told me not to be ashamed if you’ve done nothing wrong.  Well I haven’t, but I’ve thought about it.  I’ve thought about extending my arms to the small man.  I’m sure I could make him safe- happy even.  I’ve always been a bit fond of him.  I think it’s because he reminds me of my favorite beasts.  Dangerous.  Defensive. 

“Sir, that’s as good as I can do on my own.”  The bleeding has stopped and bandages soaked in healing tonics are wrapped gently around his narrow torso. 

“This will do then.”  He says tiredly.  I don’t want him to leave just yet, but I know he will if I can’t convince him to stay.  He’s already trying to sit up.  There are dark bags under his eyes as if he’s not slept in a long time.

“Sir, maybe you should stay a bit.  You aren’t anywhere near full strength.  Early tomorrow morning, I could help you back to the castle.  You could sleep here, I’ll be fine in my chair.”  He looks at me calculatingly.  Then knowingly. 

“Hagrid.”

“Uh.  Yes sir?”

“You are a good man.  You’d do well to not get tangled up with men like me.”  I don’t much understand what he means.  I know he has a past, most folk in the wizarding world know, but Dumbledore trusts him; so, so do I.

“I think I’m able enough to handle my own decisions sir.  With all due respect.”  He smiles for a brief moment.  It’s so small I wonder if I’m seeing things.

“Quite.” 

“So you will stay for the night?”  I ask a bit to bluntly.  He’s silent for a moment.  My heart is racing.

“I suppose I have no one expecting me.  And I do not feel quite up to the task of trudging up that hill.”  I have a guest.  Best to remember my manners.

“Would you like for me to put the kettle on.  It might warm you a bit.  Course, I do have stuff a bit stronger if you were wanting.”

“I’m afraid alcohol and I do not always agree with one another.  A bit of tea would be amicable.” 

It takes me a bit to fix the tea and again I’m almost ashamed when I don’t have any fine china to pour it into.  I have nothing more than an old mug, but it will have to do.  He says nothing when I hand it to him.  But when he takes a sip he exhales pleasantly.  The tea isn’t anything fancy- couldn’t afford it if it were.

“Forgive me for not getting up.  I do feel a bit weaker than I care to admit.”  He’s still comfortably laying in my bed.  I really like the look of his small frame cozied up to my pillows. 

The blanket I had laid on him for warmth is pooled around his waist as he’s propped up by the pillows.  His chest is mummified by the bandages, but I got a good look earlier when I was tending to it.  His skin is the color of the moon at night.  Pale.  Hauntingly pale.  Thin elegant beautiful fingers hold the mug that looks so large in his dainty hands.  The tips of his fingers aren’t blue anymore, but I can see dark stains on them. 

“Unsightly.”  He says absentmindedly.  “Try to not pay it any attention.”  I force myself to look him in the eyes, but he’s now also looking at his hands.  In disgust.  “Hagrid.”

“Uh.  Yes sir?”  I forget that he’s younger than me.  He looks so aged.  Not in that sense so much as… I guess I mean that I can tell he’s been through a lot.  He has the kind of demeanor that demands respect.  And he’ll have it. 

“Your hands are clean.”  My hands are never clean.  It comes with the territory of dealing with all manner of beasts and working with my hands.  I feel obligated to look at the massive things.  Certainly, they’ve looked worse before, but I have small cuts and a bit of grim that can’t be washed away. 

“Sir, I don’t think I understand what you’re trying to say.”  He’s looking into the cup quietly.

“Hagrid.  Do you fancy me?”  The words are monotone.  His expression could almost be called bored.  But that’s not the right word.  “Could someone with clean hands really fancy someone like me.  I’m afraid that’s to ludicrous a thought.  Forgive my ramblings, tonight has been a long one.”  He takes a healthy sip from the still hot cup. 

“Severus.”  It feels overly familiar to say his given name, but he doesn’t stop me.  “How did you get hurt.”

“I’m afraid you aren’t privy to that information.  Don’t take offence.  I more than trust you with any information, but it isn’t something I can share.”  He dips his porcelain finger into the still hot liquid then drawing it to his mouth he sucks.  I find myself swallowing as he does the same slow action again. 

“Is the tea not to your liking?”  My mouth feels dry.  Uncomfortably dry. 

“A bit too sweet for my liking.  I prefer things a bit more…”  He pauses for a brief moment.  “bitter.”  He brings his finger to his mouth again and I watch transfixed as his small pink tongue languidly captures a drop of tea on the pads of his fingertips just before it falls.  I don’t think he’s intentionally being seductive. 

“Severus.”  His name comes out a whisper.

“Rubeus.”  He turns his full attention on me as if for the first time realizing I was even in the room.  “You never answered my question.  Do you fancy me?”  He repeats.  I’ve never been much on lying.  Or hiding for that matter.

“I do.”  I say with conviction.  He turns back to the tea.  I wonder if he believes me so I ask.  “Do you believe me?”

“Of course, I do.  I don’t in the least understand it, but coming from you, I would believe anything.  You aren’t an idiot, but clearly you must somehow be touched in the head.”

“I’m allowed to love whomever I please sir.”  He smirks at his cup.

“Quite.  I’m only remarking on how self-destructive desiring me could be.  You are a good man.  I say this because I respect you.  You’d do well to squash whatever twinges you may or may not feel for me.  I am not someone deserving of your affection.”

“Shouldn’t I be the person to decide that.” 

“Rubeus.  Your hands are clean.  You’d only become dirty around me.”  It’s like I can’t stop my overly large hands from clasping over his.  Despite holding onto the warm mug, they are still cold.  I take the cup from him and he lets me.  Setting it down, I retake his hands in my own.  I will as much warmth into them as I can, then I bring his finger to my lips.  It is indeed still sweet.  Hesitantly I look at him and his face is a light pink.  It’s most likely from the cold, but I hope it’s from something else. 

“They don’t look dirty to me.”  I inspect the small hands encased in my own.  I’m sure to most, his hands would be considered large, but to me they are tiny.  Everything about him is tiny.  I kiss his knuckles, and his expression doesn’t change.

“If you knew what these hands have done, you wouldn’t kiss them.”  I kiss them again. 

“If you knew what I’ve used my hands for, you wouldn’t let me touch you.”  I reply.  He actually smirks.

“I wouldn’t be so sure Rubeus.”  My own name has never sounded so provocative.  I withdraw my hands from his waiting for clarification to what I’ve just heard.  I feel like we are having a conversation about two entirely different subjects.  “I like your hands.”  He says resigned as if waiting for some form of rejection.  His small pink nipples are hard and peeking out through the bandages.  I’m trying to not stare at them.  My mouth feels dry again.  “You can touch if that’s what you want.”  His eyes don’t have any doubts.  I may never get a chance of this nature again.

I press my thumbs against the hard nubs and his eyes flutter close.  When I do it again, his back arches and he exhales slowly.  When he doesn’t show any resistance, I lean forward and capture one of the small nubs against my tongue.  A low whine leaves his mouth and goes straight to my loins.  “Is this alright?” 

“Could you suck on them.”  He asks breathlessly.  And I do.  His hands tangle in my unmanageable hair as he arches into my mouth.  “That’s good.”  He’s panting loudly and it only encourages my efforts.  “Yes.  Now the other.”  So I switch, grinding it softly between my teeth.  When I pull away, they are obscenely hard and he’s completely flushed. 

“Did I push to much?”  From the way he’s looking at me, I’m afraid that I’ve crossed a line.  Severus has always been a blunt man.  I’m sure that if I went too far he would have stopped me.  He wouldn’t have let it go this far if he didn’t want it also. 

“No one has looked at me like this in more than twenty years.  My last lover was a muggle when I was no more than a hormone crazed teenager.  I might have gotten carried away.”  There is an obvious bulge lifting the blanket in his lap.  When I look a little too long, he laughs deeply.  It’s a very warming sound.  “I guess my body is just as sensitive as it was back then.  At least I’m not the only one aroused.” 

“I couldn’t help it sir.  I’ve wanted to touch ya fer so long.”  He hums slowly.  “I’m sorry sir.”

“You truly are playing with fire Rubeus.  I’ve restrained myself for far too long.  Your clean hands could get dirty touching me.”  It doesn’t sound like a refusal.  So I grab is hands again and kiss the knuckles. 

“I don’t mind getting dirty sir.”  He lifts a single eyebrow while looking down at me.  He hisses when I take one of the swollen nipples back into my mouth.

“If you do not desist this, then I will not be held accountable for what I do.  Merlin!”  Even still he presses deeper against my lips.  I pull away with a last lick.  “I could cum just from that if you were to continue.”  He sounds breathless.  I want more of him.

“Can I take off your pants?”  He blinks as if caught off guard.

“And what do you intend to do once you remove them?”

“I would like to suck other places.  If you will allow me.”  He nods slowly.  His dark hair hangs limply against his face as he lays back fully on the bed.  He pushes the blankets down and looks to me. 

“I still think you should reconsider touching me.”  My large fingers fumble with the button on his trousers until eventually I manage to pop it open.  He hums again.  “And now there is no turning back.”  I try to pull the clothes off his hips as gently as I can; he is still injured after all.  Once I fully remove them I openly look at his nude form.  He’s quite pretty.  He lays before me openly inviting me to touch him.  He looks comfortable and not at all insecure about being bare in front of me.  His erection is full mast and lying against his flat stomach. 

He has very little hair aside from a patch leading to his dick.  His pink nipples and cock are cute against his otherwise pale skin.  I take all the time I want to look at him and it only seems to arouse him more.  My oversized hands cup his testicles and roll them gently as my other hand slowly pumps his shaft.  He’s circumcised.  There aren’t many men circumcised in this neck of the woods.  Not that I’ve taken a survey or anything, I just didn’t expect it.  It’s a nice sized tool too.  Long but not really overly thick.  Some precum is gathering on the tip.  He whines obscenely when I gather it on my tongue. 

Bitter.

But delicious. 

“Please.”  He sighs.  And the word sounds so good coming from his mouth that I give him exactly what he wants.  With my thumb pressed against the underside of his head, I suck the little slit and gather more of his pre.  He’s already squirming.  It’s easy to take his full length into my mouth.  Even when his elegant fingers grab my hair and force my head into his lap, It’s easy to suck him off.  “Good.”  He whispers.  I enjoy looking up at this normally restrained man arching off of my bed trying to get more pleasure.  He thrusts a few times and I reward him with light suckling.  He will whimper or moan and I’ll use my tongue.  I’m almost disappointed when his fingers pull my head from his groin.  “I want something else.”  Even as his cock is still straining, he’s pushing me off of him.  “Can I have what I want?” 

Right now, I’d give him anything.

“Anything.”  My heart races when he actually smiles. 

“Take off your clothes and sit on the edge of the bed.”  Okay not what I expected him to say, but I’ll bite.  I don’t much care for my body.  It’s too large.  Hairy.  It’s nothing like his dainty one, but I’ll give him what he asked for.  It’s a lot more uncomfortable to be eyed up, but being as he let me ogle him, I have no right to ask him to stop.  The bed dips under my weight and my own erection is in full view.  “Good.  Just like that.  Push your legs together.”  I do.  Not really sure what he’s wanting.  He strokes himself a few times before straddling my legs.  “Much better.”  He arches his back.  “Now.  Suck them again.”  He almost sounds like he’s begging. 

It’s a bit uncomfortable, but I do manage to lean down enough to capture one of his nipples between my lips.  The harder I suck the faster he grinds against my erection.  Both of his hands are grasping us together.  Stroking faster and faster.  His body feels so soft against mine.

“Ahh.  That’s good.  Good.  Bite on it.  Just like that.”  He’s rubbing our cocks together in an erotic way.  His eyes are tight in euphoria.  So many pleased noises leave his throat.  When I pull away so that I can pay the other the same attention he looks near tears.  “Don’t stop.”  His thumb is pressing down on the head of my dick.  He’s frustrated and grinding harder while trying to arch his back more.  He really wants me to toy with them more.

“Severus.  Your nipples must be very sensitive.  You really like having them sucked.”  He nods slowly.  “I’ll suck them for as long as you want, but can you do something for me first?”  He licks his lips subconsciously and nods.  “Let me use you just for a bit.”  He tilts his head to the side and looks up at me.  A small smirk crosses his lips.

“Use me however you please Rubeus.”  My hands on his narrow hips pulling him briskly against me.  His long fingers grip our shafts together and he mews pleasantly.  His legs squeeze together and my erection is squeezed between creamy thighs.  I thrust against him faster.  It’s like I’m using his entire body to masturbate.  I fall back on the bed pulling him on top of me.  His weight feels pleasant on top of me. 

He actively moans and enjoys my touch even when all I’m doing is rubbing my length against him.  When his heavy erection presses against mine my body feels like lightning.  Still he’s arching.  Hoping for more.  His eyes are lidded and looking at me as if I were something amazing.  No one has looked at me like that before. 

“You will regret this.”  He says as his hands move into my beard and pull me down.  His hard lips are against my own and the full impact of what I’m doing hits.  Severus isn’t the type of man you share one night with.  One night means all the nights.  From now until the end, whenever that may be.  Bad or good he will expect me to be his.  In every way. 

His tongue presses gingerly into my mouth I can taste iron.  I can only imagine the pain he’s undergone.  Still.  It’s in no way unpleasant.  I enjoy the taste of his mouth on mine.  Intoxicated by it.  He pulls away panting.  His chest is heaving.  Almost shyly his eyes look up into mine.

Skilled fingers come up and tug on his nipples.  He’s pulling and pinching and though it looks painful, he’s grinding down on me hotly.  He licks his lips again nervously.  “Can you play with them again.”  I’m almost afraid too.  My hands are so much bulkier than his.  I don’t want to hurt him and I tell him as such.

“My fingers aren’t as nimble as yours.”

“It’ll be fine.”  He assures.  “It never feels as good touching them myself.”  They are a tempting shade of pink.  When my thumbs press against them, he rubs against me in affirmation.  When I don’t touch him hard enough he leans deeper into my hands.  “Don’t be afraid to touch me.  Go on.  I’m not afraid that you’ll hurt me.  So you don’t have to be either.”  His cock is pressed against my belly as he backs his bum against my erection. 

With the minor encouragements, I pull on his swollen nubs.  The sounds from his throat only get louder.  The more abuse I inflict on his chest the more desperately he humps me.  And each time he does, my dick slides between his round globes.  When I pinch the sensitive bumps, he gives me more of that hot friction.  His mouth hangs open in unrestrained pleasure and his dark piercing eyes are closed tight.  His cute chest is raising and falling fast, but anytime I try to pull my hands away, his eyes will peak open and Severus will press his chest deeper into my hands.  Silently begging me to not stop.

“Severus.”

“Feels good.”  He sighs.  “Shouldn’t be doing this though.  This is bad.”  He moans loudly and openly.  “I can’t believe I’m being so irresponsible.”  His head falls back limply and his neck fully extends.  He’s panting rapidly. 

“Maybe you deserve to behave a bit recklessly.”  His head lolls forward.

“Hagrid.”  The intimacy from what we are doing seems to vanish and now it’s almost clinical.  “I’m going to hurt you and I don’t know of anything I can do aside from apologize in advance.  You are going to regret this night.  You are going to hate me.”  His head falls to the side and there are tears.  Large unashamed tears.  “But I’m not going to regret this.  I’m going to take this one night and hold it close inside.  Even when you hate me.  I’m going to remember this.  I’ll enjoy tonight and enjoy whatever warmth you give me.  I’ll only be able to selfishly take.”  His hand is against my cheek and the display is sobering.  “I want you to make me feel good.  You can do whatever you want to me.  Call out my name.  Touch me.  Make tonight a good memory.”

“Severus.  What’s going on.”

“Shh.  Don’t spoil the moment.  I can’t tell you anything.  I’m not able to.  I can’t tell you anything.  So give me tonight.”  His words.  Something about them was cold but child-like.  He returns to feverously sliding his lithe body against my bulky one.  I close the space between us.  His arms wrap around my head as I suck on the pink bumps.  We don’t think anymore.  We just let our bodies do whatever feels good. 

My large hands press into the small of his back while our sweaty bodies stick to one another.  Sounds leave his mouth unabashed, including a loud scream followed immediately by spurts of his cum covering my belly.  Not that that slowed either of us.  I think it only made him crave more. 

His voice sounds hoarse as his fingers pull my head from his nipples.

“Rubeus, could you rub your dick against them.”  It takes me a few moments to understand exactly what he wants.  Kinda a odd thing if you ask me, but if that’s what he wants and it’ll make us both feel good then why not. 

It’s hard to reposition.  He’s laying on the bed and I’m straddling his much smaller frame.  For the love of Merlin please make sure I don’t accidently crush this man.  He shivers when I first press against ‘them’.  He’s looking up at me wantonly, but I don’t miss how his hand goes between his legs to tug his semi hard dick. 

He looks quite beautiful like this.  Body flushed and needy.  Pale skin framed by dark hair.  Amazing eyes.  It makes me want to give him everything he desires.  When both of his hands go to my shoulders to pull me down into another chaste kiss, I feel empty and bitter.  Emotions that I’m not use to feeling, and I wonder if it’s him.  

“Think only about me right now.”  I instruct.  He smiles.

“What else would I think about while you play with me.”  Both of his hands grip my erection hard and rub it against one of his nipples.  Again, he moans prettily.  “Your precum is dripping on them.  It feels good.  Hot.  Like liquid fire.” 

“For someone so restrained, you really have pretty vulgar wants.”

“I don’t.  It’s not true.”  He’s jerking me faster and moaning each time drops of precum slides off of his nipples.  One of his hands stops jerking me to grasp my low hanging balls.  “I bet with testicles this large you have really messy orgasms.”  I do.  And it’s been awhile, so I know there will be a lot.  All of that sounds like bragging though.  “Will you cover me?”  He asks.  I don’t really understand what he means at first.  “I want you too.  I want to feel your cum on my chest.  Then again on my back.  Can someone with clean hands like you make me dirty.” 

I hear him scream his second orgasm before I even realize that I’m cumming myself. 

“Severus.”  My voice doesn’t sound like my own.

“Yes!  Yes!  Rubeus.”  I pump myself making sure that I’m covering him.  His hips are spasming as his erection spits out cum even while his slender fingers are desperately rubbing my cum against his nipples.  “It’s all over me.”  He whines.  “Dirty.  Good.  Good.”  His mouth hangs open and I enjoy watching him coming down from his high even while I come down from mine. 

After just a few minutes his breathing evens out and he gently touches my arm.  “What is it Severus?”

“Can we just once more.  Please.  I don’t want this evening to be over yet.  I still want to feel good.”  I smile at him. 

“Sure Severus.  But this time we will go at my pace.  You did say that I could do whatever I wanted to you.”  He doesn’t in the least bit look nervous. 

“Anything you want Rubeus.”  His tired body doesn’t want to move at first, but I manage after sometime to get him on his knees. 

“Lift your bum a bit higher.”  When he does, I reward him by spreading his cheeks and giving his hole a little lick.  There isn’t anyway something as big as I am could fit in this tight hole.  His hips buck each time my tongue presses inside of him.  I enjoy the taste of him before getting on my knees behind him.

“Rubeus, what are you going to do to me.”

“I’m going to make you feel good.  Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”  I press his legs tightly together and slowly thrust between them.  From this position, it looks like we are having sex.  His creamy thighs squeeze around me and I can feel my erection rubbing under his balls and cock.  A please moan comes from under me.  My hand under his stomach I pull him back against me.  I can see his cute pink erection trembling on top of mine while I thrust between his legs.  I notice how he squeezes tighter around me.  I use my free hand to cup his flat chest and pinch a nipple between two fingers.

“How does this feel Severus.”  He’s panting hotly.

“Good.  It’s good.”  His hips are moving and his hands are gripping us together and stroking quickly.  “It’s so big.  Ahh.  I wish we had more time.  I’d love to fit this inside of me one day.  Have you split me open.  Have you dirty inside me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”  I whisper.

“I don’t want to be hurt.  But if it was you, I don’t think I’d mind.”

“Severus..”

“Rubeus, will you kiss me.”  He moans when I bring my lips to his.  I don’t miss the shiver.  I want him to feel good, so I pull and pinch his abused little buds.  I suck on his pink tongue and dive my own into his warm mouth.  His body is flushed against mine.  “It’s too hot.  It’s really like you are fucking me right now.  It’s like you are deep inside me messing me up.”

“Severus.”

“Feels so good.  Feels good to have you make me dirty.”  Light tears prick his eyes.  “Just give me tonight Rubeus.”  My hand squeezes over his making him pump us faster.  “Ahh.  Ahh.  Ohhh.  Rubeus.  Good.  It’s good.  I’ll cum.  Anymore and I’ll cum.”

“Then cum Severus.  It’s alright.  I want you to feel good.  Cum Severus.”

“Y… Yes.  Yes!  Rubeus!”  He grinds down on me desperately finding his release.  I openly watch him tense as pleasure consumes him.  He looks beautiful, and that thought is what sends me over my own edge.  He rocks against me, helping to draw the pleasure from my body.  All the while, I hold him tight.  It’s almost like he folds into my body, and I think another night of this and I will more than fancy him.  I’ll love him.  “Rubeus.  Did that feel good?”  He asks sweetly.  I kiss him as a response and he smiles.  “Is the offer for me to stay the night still valid?”  He asks.

“Yes.  Of course, it is.  You can stay whenever you want.”

“It might be crowded, but instead of sleeping in your chair, would you mind holding me?  I’m tired.”  Both of us are dirty, and I expect him to say a cleaning spell, but he doesn’t.  He settles into the bed with my arms still around him and closes his eyes.

“Severus?”

“Hm?”  He hums.

“I didn’t hurt you did I.  I know you are banged up.”

“I assure you I am fine Hagrid.”  It feels suddenly cold when he uses my name, but I don’t comment on it.  After all.  We have time.

We have time.

We should’ve had time. 

It wasn’t a week later that Albus Dumbledore was killed by Severus Snape.  I didn’t want to believe it, but young Harry saw it himself.  The news spread.  The greatest wizard alive killed.  I owe Dumbledore so much, and he’s gone.  I never liked feeling helpless, but that’s how I feel now.  Even when Snape does come back and assumes the role of headmaster, standing where that great man once stood, there still isn’t anything that I can do.

I try to help where I can.  Keeping students as safe as I can.  Sometimes the ‘headmaster’ will send students to serve detention with me.  The year is hard and many of the teachers don’t know how long they can carry on for.  But to protect the students, we all try to be strong. 

The night of the final battle for Hogwarts and the magical world, young Harry returns to us.  So much happens.  So many people die.  It feels like all of their blood is on my hands.  Harry defeats you-know-who and all the survivors are equal parts happy and sad for the loss of those that are gone. 

He told the staff about Severus Snape in the Shrieking shack and how he was loyal to Dumbledore.  Then.  He pulled me aside.  Face slightly red he looks at me.

“As he was dying, he gave me his memories.  Most of them were him talking to Dumbledore and his friendship with my mother.”  He clears his throat.  “But.  There were flashes of him… with you.”  It’s more than a little uncomfortable between us.  “He must have been thinking about you at the end.  I don’t know what that’ll mean to you, but I felt I should tell you at least.”  Awkwardly I thank him.  I don’t really know what else to do. 

There are so many dead, and I know that he’s just one of them.  Honestly regardless of his allegiance, I know that most of the wizarding world would be happy to hear that he’s gone.  There is a mass wake for all those that gave their life for this war, and the following year has everyone pitching in to rebuild the castle.

When school starts back up, Professor McGonagall takes over as Headmistress.  Everyone comes back to repeat their Seventh year.  And me.  I continue my work as the groundkeeper.  Silently watching because that’s all I seem to be able to do.

I think about Severus a lot.

He said I would regret that night.  I don’t though.  When I remember his frail injured body desperately clinging to me, I feel like I have lost him all over again.  Like maybe I could have saved him.  Maybe he was hoping I would save him.  Maybe he was reaching out to me, and I just didn’t know to grab him.  I thought I would have more time with him.  I thought that one night of love making would lead to the rest of our lives.  I think a part of him wanted that as well.  But he already knew that it wouldn’t happen that way.  He told me that he would hold on to that night together.  He told me that he would hold it close and cherish it.  That night stirs up so much emotion in me, but I will too Severus.  I’ll hold onto our night together.  And I will cherish it.

I grab the small urn on the bedside table.  No one wanted his remains.  It didn’t matter to anyone that he was a hero.  No one was thankful to him except maybe Harry.  I told him that I wanted Severus’s ashes.  He looked at me understandingly, but I’m glad he didn’t ask to many questions.  So Severus sits on the small table beside my bed.  Every night before I fall asleep, I remember him.  I remember holding him. 

I know in my head that it was only one night.  But his hands held me in a way no one else ever desired.  He looked at me as if I were someone incredible.  If I were really incredible, then I would have been able to save him. 


End file.
